


with shortness of breath.

by ISlayedBuffy



Series: try our very best to fake it [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Fluff, New Year's Eve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28383216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ISlayedBuffy/pseuds/ISlayedBuffy
Summary: fareeha and angela celebrate new years eve together and fall in love all over again. and again. and again.
Relationships: Fareeha "Pharah" Amari/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler
Series: try our very best to fake it [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078811
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	with shortness of breath.

**Author's Note:**

> it's almost new years and i felt like it would be a good idea to write a little new years oneshot as a way of telling you that i'm accidentally giving "i don't need your hands to touch me" a sequal. i'm working on it, and it's happening, but my current schedule until june isn't very giving, so i'm going to try really hard not to post any of it until then. it gives me time to work on a couple of chapters before posting and also you don't have to go as far in between them. but i'm not know to be good at keeping promises like that. anyway, happy new year! and thank you for reading and supporting! have a good one.

She stared at the blonde goddess in front of her. Tying her flowing golden hair into a ponytail. The white dress was thin, too thin for new years, but the room was as hot as the summer had been, and as it flowed together with the gust of wind from the open porch door it seemed like a relief. 

She couldn’t hear what they were talking about. She didn’t much care either. She just knew that Angela seemed happy. Fareeha was happy enough just watching Angela’s smile grow. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Kirsty asked.

“No.” Fareeha replied. 

“How drunk are you?”

“I’m not even… well, I’m a bit drunk. I’m sorry, what were you saying?” Fareeha asked as she looked from Angela’s smile to Kirsty.

Kirst looked across the room at Angela for a moment before sitting down on the couch next to Fareeha. Slow and steady so as not to spill her drink. She took a sip from it, saying nothing. As Fareeha waited for her to repeat what she had said she felt… studied. 

“What?” Fareeha asked.

“You love her.” Kirsty told Fareeha, as if it were a fact Kirsty could just decide.

“I— Who— you mean Angela?”

“Duh!” Kirsty laughed, hitting herself on the forehead. 

“I mean— We— I—” Fareeha tried.

“Haven’t said it?” 

“I hadn’t really thought about it like that.”

“Like what?”

“She’s kind of… I’ve loved her always, kind of, I hadn’t really thought about it changing. Like, from one thing to another.”

“Does she know that?” Kirst asked. Fareeha wanted to answer yes, but let the question sit in her mind for a moment. 

The summer they had spent together, the first summer in years, had been an emotional rollercoaster. They hadn’t been friends in years, and suddenly they were _girlfriends_. The days they had spent at the lake. The midnight walks when the sun would barely set and it was still as hot as day out. It had all been like nothing ever happened. 

But then something would happen and they would both realize that, no, they weren’t the same as they were last time they knew each other. At their core, maybe, they were similar to who they had been. But they were not the same. They had grown from kids, to teens, to young adults. Fareeha hoped with all her heart that she would grow into an adult with Angela. And to become elderly with her, and then pass away at the same second so neither had to deal with living with the other. 

Right now though, as Kirsty’s question reverberated through her mind, and she couldn’t quite answer it, she realized that with all the downs of the summer had really been. Because, although they were different people now, they had always been different from _each other_. It was nothing new that they contrasted each other, or rather, complemented each other. They just had to figure out that it was the same, only new. 

A quiet “Fuck” fell from her lips as she let all the air out. She got up from the couch and went over to Angela. 

“Come.” She told her. Angela excused herself to the friend, Jones, she was talking to and followed Fareeha who was walking her up the stairs to an empty room. 

“I know I’ve had a few drinks but I got to say that I’m not comfortable doing this in someone else’s bed.” Angela laughed. Fareeha took another moment to just look at Angela. A deep breath.

“I love you.” 

Angela’s smile faltered slowly into what Fareeha could only think of as shock. 

“I have loved you all my life. But not like I love you now. I need you to know that, and I need you to… _really_ hear that. I _love_ you Angela.”

* * *

Her mind was running amok, while simultaneously doing less work that it had ever done. It was just… _screaming_ into the void. They had said it before. The words weren’t new. The look in Fareeha’s eyes though, the way she said it, like there her life depended on it, was. 

“Are you okay?” Fareeha asked her. 

_No,_ she was not okay. She had never been less okay in her life. Fareeha _loved_ her. She had _always_ loved her. She could feel how tears started to burn in her eyes. Maybe she was just drunk, nevertheless it felt like she would never hear the words in the same way again. This was the most beautiful way she could ever hear them. 

“I’m sorry, I should have thought this through. I’m so—”

Before Fareeha could finish saying sorry, Angela grabbed the taller girl's face and dragged it down into a kiss. A moment of shock passed before Fareeha embraced her. Angela didn’t know how long they stood like that. For all she knew it could’ve been just a few seconds, or it could’ve been a lifetime. She could feel the bass of the music in her feet, or perhaps it was just her heart beating hard enough. 

“I love you too.” she whispered, her lips brushing against Fareeha’s lips. “I have loved you all my life too.” she said and kissed Fareeha again. 

And again. And again. And again, until the door to the room was hastly opened by another guest at the party. They apologized over and over again as they shut the door. Angela could hear them laugh at the other end of the door. 

They stood locked in their embrace. A moment passed before they too laughed. 

“We should go back.” Angela whispered, not exactly sure why. Fareeha nodded, and let go of her. 

They went back to the living room where most of the party was, and sat down on the couch where Kirsty was still sitting. 

“Where did you two lovebirds go?” she asked.

“Mind your business.” Fareeha joked. 

As she watched Fareeha interact with the others, so naturally inhabiting the space she was in, with no hesitation, no inhibition, just existing with confidence, thinking about what had just happened, she couldn’t understand how it had taken her this long to understand that what had once been was no more. They had never hated each other, Fareeha had never truly hated her. Maybe that was what hurt so bad when it came down to it. Because as she watched Fareeha, the same way she had watched her before everything went wrong, yet in such a different way, she realized that she had truly loved her her whole life. There was no difference in the love she felt, just a difference in the way she could express it. For the first time she truly understood why she had acted the way she had acted.

A wave of nausea swept over her. All of a sudden the light dress she was wearing felt far too cold, yet overwhelmingly warm and clammy. She took a deep breath, and let it all go as she let the breath go. She had been forgiven, now she had to forgive herself. She had to forgive herself. She had to forgive herself. Like a mantra she repeated it in her mind. 

_I will forgive myself. I will forgive myself. I will forgive myself_.

She wasn’t going to forgive herself that night, but she knew she was going to forgive herself, just as she had been forgiven by Fareeha, and how she had forgiven Fareeha’s faults. Now, however, this night, she was going to forget it and let go, and have fun. Because her girlfriend had just told her she loved her, and she had told her girlfriend that she loved her too, and she had to let a good thing be good. 

The rest of the evening they spent talking to the other guests, and playing new games someone came up with in the heat of the moment. Some friends from school, some new friends they had never met, either way they were, for the time being, their friends. Eventually they all put their coats and jackets, and brought a glass of something with them outside to the backyard located on one of the few hills of the town to watch the fireworks.

As the clock struck twelve and the fireworks started to pop up from all around town, Fareeha turned to her and kissed her. She could feel her smile against her lips. 

“I love you.” She whispered as Fareeha broke away. 

“I love you too.” Fareeha said. “I can’t wait for people to think we’re gross.” 

Angela laughed. With a racing heart she said, “I can’t wait to say more than I love you.” She wasn’t sure Fareeha would get it, and really it didn’t matter, because it was without a doubt the false confidence talking. In the moment though, the false confidence wasn’t lying. Really, she wasn’t lying at all, in that moment she really couldn’t wait. In the morning she would regret it, but it was a sorrow for another time. 

“When you do, I’m going to cry. Prepare yourself.” Fareeha told her. 

They stood stuck in their embrace, Angela’s head against Fareeha’s chest, watching the rest of the fireworks, and let the rest of the evening pass. 


End file.
